Friday, April 29, 2011

Tornadic... yeah I think I just made up that word.

Just realized today I was so chill and naturally cute even though the tornadic winds raped my hair. Felt lovely. I just had on a t shirt and some jeans and old chucks. My hair... ponytail and bang, simple. Just hung out with my boys Oscar, Blake, Brad and Alex. SMH Poor Parris LOL. Came home and it ruined my high on life... so now I feel extra tired and nobody's taking me to see Fast Five. Fucking cocksuckers. So back to my NO LIFE... sleeping right after I fill out these job apps. Not miserable (at least not more than usual) my high is just blown.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

I Can Tell When A Guy Likes Me...

and it’s annoying as fuck seeing that I just want to chill and have no ties, nothing to weigh me down, nobody to check in with and all the positive shit about being single. But guys try to cuff? They claim you all the time and my [insert pet name guy gave you] I’m just like dude… calm the fuck down. Also every conversation that is held between you and him he wants to ask you “When are you gonna be my boo/baby/girlfriend?” I’m just like dude… chill. When I wanted a boyfriend you were nowhere to be found now that I’m good you’re all on my bumper. I understand that I asked for honesty and that includes voicing your thoughts if you like me but just because you do that doesn’t mean that I will instantly become your girlfriend. When guys like me it’s annoying as fuck, they never give me space, always asking awkward questions, always being nosy, and always claiming me or trying to force me to do things. Can you fools go harass some simple minded chick because Dodi don’t play that. Annoy fucks!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Song of the Day: 2

Beautiful (remix) - Black Star & Mary J. Blige

They say that beauty's in the eye of the beholder

so I use my third and now our love is solid like a boulder
wanna build with you as I get older
and that's my word! Sure as I stand on my ancestors' shoulders.
You see through my drama and my world like a stage
Not the same years but living in the same age
It's the quality not the quantity
Follow me? Definitely! Far from probably... Got to be!
You and me beautifully fit like pieces of a man I used to be
Now I'm back! 'cause of what you do to me.
You like my reflection; better half to my whole
Like lyrics to the beat you the mate for my soul
The breath for my life, my sister and my lover
Used to have cold feet now you the warmth under my covers
I can't ignore your aura 'cause it grabbed me by the hand
Like the moon pulled the tide and the tide pulled the sand

   It just amazes me how lovely this verse is to a relationship. If Kweli told me this there would be no doubt in my mind of whether he loves me or not. In my mind, I consider this like hip hop vows. Every time I hear this verse (it's part of one of my favorite songs so I hear it a lot) it just makes me smile because it's like this verse is for THE ONE, that is meant for one over all others. That one that you would give your all to and expect nothing in return.
   I may be getting a little too in depth but it's a verse I really love. "The breath for my life, my sister and my lover" It just goes beyond the new general standard idea of a relationship (even though this isn't a new song). The relationship is more than just intimate it's like he's completed. Like wherever he's lacking she's picking up the slack and she's more than a girl she's his friend, his sister, his life. It's more that just love... it's like his entire being is satisfied to share whatever he has with her, she's welcomed in every aspect of his life.
   I truly love every verse in this song every line all the ad libs but Kweli's first verse stood out to me the most. Maybe because I felt like the words applied/applies to me in more than one way. Not sure but this just makes me smile anyway. Mos Def, Talib Kweli and Mary J. Blige did a wonderful job with "Beautiful." That verse though... that's like Verbal Art. I would hang in the the gallery of my collective thoughts and admire like a memory.

"Sometimes you meet somebody who's just completely..." - Beautiful, Mos Def

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Tyga: Black Thoughts 2

Firstly, I love Tyga like his style, voice and delivery. Secondly, his mixtape Black Thoughts 2 presented by DJ Ill Will and DJ Rockstar was just released yesterday. I listened to it all night, slept on in and it was nice. (Being a fan I would say it was bomb! But I digress.) Usually when I listen to artist's mixtapes or albums I decide out of the tracks featured, would the "nice!" outweigh the "ehh ok" and it definitely did. My favorite songs are probably a tie between Reminded ft. Adele (because I love Adele.) and First Time ft. Pharrell (because there is no wrong that man can do. <3) But Pharrell wins. So you can click the cover or the link to listen and download for free.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Nobody Can Hurt You Like Your Friends...

You want to know my feelings? I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know how I look from the outside looking in but on the inside I'm troubled with things just like everybody else. Why do I feel like no one understands me? Out of all the basic problems in my life and out of all the people in this world... no one understands me? Only like one person gets it. That should be enough but I've gotten into the mind state that no one does so I don't want to harass him with my sad tales and pessimistic thoughts. That's just one battle in my mind, Tell the only person who gets me what's troubling me when it's troubling me or keep it to myself because he's only human and his life doesn't revolve around me and my problems? I would end up keeping it to myself :( Another thing, my friends put my down intentionally and unintentionally. I confront them on the unintentional ones but on the intentional ones what do I say? They know what they're doing then... it's just fucking disgusting because I never go that far for them. They get mad at me for being mad or upset then I just become sad because my "friends" become just people when they turn on me when they don't get what they want. So I guess if they get mad it means that they care right? But still you don't fight fire with fire. I'm not wrong for showing emotions and neither are they but I still think they're wrong for dealing with the situation by adding more negativity to an already negative bottle. This is why I hate everyone, they don't even try to make things better then just make them worse and they generalize every situation like every person is the same. Everyone knows that is not true and your friends should know specifically but I guess not. :( My feelings are really hurt today and this time it's not just the situation hitting something deeper, this time it's actually my fucking expectations that I have for the people I call my friends. Fuck you very much.